I am not going to pretend for a moment I have a wealth of knowledge and zen, but as more challenges get thrown at me as each year rolls around I find myself being more at peace with the fact that in life nothing is really guaranteed.
I’ll start by talking about my university and work journey. Studying online was both difficult and one of the best things I have ever done, it taught me how to manage my time as well as push myself as far as I could go. I was very preoccupied when I was studying with the fear that I may not get a job in the industry after I finished my degree, I was so preoccupied in fact that I was blindsided by the notion that although I loved studying media and communications I didn’t enjoy working in the industry.
I spent a great deal of time in denial about this fact, I refused to accept that I had worked so hard to end up feeling this way. It got me really thinking though about how some degrees do nothing to prepare you for the reality of work and how what you study varies so much to what you will actually do on a day to day basis.
I wasn’t my best self for a long time, I had to basically turn my feelings off so that I could deal with my disappointment on the daily but still be a good employee and be a good person to my family and friends. I think of myself as a very optimistic person and dealing with my struggles recently has taught me that you can’t always pretend to be happy nor can you diminish your own pain by using the ‘someone has it worse than you’ methodology. Having the empathy and compassion to understand that people may be facing difficult times is going to serve you better long term than always being in denial about your feelings.
One of my absolute favourite things a friend said to me recently is we should always assume everyone is trying their best. My best when I am happy and my best when I am not differs vastly, but my effort is always there and never waivers.
So although throughout life we grow, we develop and we change I have focused mostly on getting back to my positive and upbeat self, because I know that’s my favourite and best version of me. I have a goal I am working towards and will be happy to share more when I know more myself.
For now I have refocused my energy on making sure my fitness and health are back in check, making sure I take time to do things that make me happy and not miserable and just taking everything as it comes.
As much as I cannot be certain of anything I am embracing the randomness of it all and I believe I have set myself on the path to finding what I want for myself professionally (and personally).
Being an adult sometimes feels like this game we didn’t sign up for and as our responsibilities grow we end up feeling we have traveled too far down the same path to change directions. I truly believe small changes can set into motion what is necessary to see the bigger picture take shape later down the road.